


Perfect Clarity

by westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist



Category: The West Wing
Genre: Episode Tag, Episode: s02e14 The War At Home, F/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-05-23
Updated: 2006-05-23
Packaged: 2019-05-30 17:33:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,205
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15101618
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist/pseuds/westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist
Summary: Josh reflects on some ambiguous conversations and one giganticrevelation.





	Perfect Clarity

**Author's Note:**

> A copy of this work was once archived at National Library, a part of the [ West Wing Fanfiction Central](https://fanlore.org/wiki/West_Wing_Fanfiction_Central), a West Wing fanfiction archive. More information about the Open Doors approved archive move can be found in the [announcement post](http://archiveofourown.org/admin_posts/8325).

 

Title: Perfect Clarity  
Author: Michelle H.  
Rating: PG?  
Spoilers: The War at Home  
Summary: Josh reflects on some ambiguous conversations and one gigantic  
revelation.  
Archive: Sure, ask me first  
Feedback: Always appreciated!  
Disclaimers: The usual disclaimers apply.  
Thanks: Thanks to Laurel, who shares my brain, for feedback, support,  
encouragement, etc.

This is part of an as-of-yet-unnamed series. Previous installments  
include:

Roles by Laurel A.  
Masks by Michelle H.  
Donna Moss Talks About Sex and Joey Lucas by Laurel A.  
Josh Lyman Talks About Strategy by Michelle H.  
\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 

"What do we do now," she had asked me.

I kick my feet up on the desk, nearly falling out of my chair in the  
process. It's dark in here, so I can't actually see my desk, or my  
feet. What can I say? I'm not at my best this late at night. Or early  
in the morning, depending on how you want to look at it.

What the hell was she talking about, anyway? "What do we do now," she'd  
asked. Was she talking about the polling? Of course she was. I think.

To be honest I wasn't concentrating. Donna had told me why the numbers  
were important. She had explained the gun control issue to me. I  
was�well, I was impressed. Floored, really.

At that moment I knew hiring her was the smartest thing I've ever done.  
At that moment I could see the past and the present and the future in  
some sort of weird moment of perfect clarity.

So then I'd asked her why she was trying to fix me up with Joey Lucas.  
Her response had been to babble on about monogrammed towels, or  
something. I stopped listening once I realized she was only kidding,  
and the weird moment of perfect clarity was gone.

She had to be kidding. That wasn't a serious answer. A good excuse to  
set me up with Joey Lucas would have been "because of the brilliant way  
you banter," or "because she knows what you're going to say before you  
even say it," or something. Actually, it would have been an excellent  
time to come clean about her Evil Plan.

You know, the Evil Plan that involves me becoming coupled, so I don't  
notice all of the legions of local gomers that prance through her life,  
usually leaving her in a state of general�dysfunction. She's useless to  
me because she can't do her job, and she's totally upset about some  
brainless moron who doesn't deserve her.

But no. Instead she babbles on about monogrammed towels.

Although, I have to admit they are very nice towels.

"We wait," I had told her. After all, I wasn't sure what she was asking  
me about, and I was still trying to recapture that weird moment of  
perfect clarity. Was she talking about gun control? Joey? The  
polling? Her Evil Plan? Waiting is generally a good thing. You can't  
go wrong with waiting.

So we waited.

"You draw a line," she'd told me later. I think we were talking about  
giving terrorists free cable and the keys to the situation room,  
although we could have been talking about gun control or Joey or the  
polling or Donna's Evil Plan. I'm not sure, to be honest. I'm  
confused. It seems like we're talking about a lot of different things  
all at the same time.

This conversation is a little blurry.

"You draw a line," she'd told me.

"Where?" I asked. I mean, it depends on the line, really. If the line  
we're really talking about here is terrorism, it's hard to know where to  
draw a line, although admittedly one needs to be drawn. When human  
lives are at stake, it becomes more about luck than strategy. You can't  
strategize with psychopaths, and generally terrorists aren't mentally  
stable people.

If we were talking about gun control, she knows where we want to draw  
the line. If the line is Joey Lucas, I don't know if I want to draw a  
line, but apparently Donna does and somehow all of this has something to  
do with my monogrammed towels. If the line has to do with her Evil  
Plan, I'm drawing a big line once I can get her to confess.

Because I'm starting to wonder if the Evil Plan really exists, to be  
honest. Being in the dark makes me paranoid, and so I'm beginning to  
question my own judgement.

But wait. Donna wants me to ask out Joey Lucas because of my bath  
towels. It's obvious that she's lying. I think that's proof right  
there that the Evil Plan exists. She obviously can't look me straight  
in the eye and say she desires to see me coupled.

After an exceedingly long day, Donna asked if she could head out. I  
feel bad for having kept her so long in the first place, but then  
reassert my position as an asshole by demanding that she be in early the  
next morning. It's my job, after all.

Don't look at me that way.

I asked if she could get home all right. I stared after her a long  
time. I felt naked without her there.

Because now I was all alone with Joey Lucas. Well, Kenny was there  
too. But I was all alone. I felt�outnumbered.

Yes, I know Joey Lucas is on my side. But still. It's the principle of  
the thing.

We talked about numbers. I decide It's really hard to interpret a  
number. Numbers are hard and factual and they only give yes or no  
answers. They don't tell you why. They don't say maybe.

And then all of a sudden the conversation got interesting.

"If you polled one hundred Donnas and asked them if we should go out,  
you'd get a high positive response. But the poll wouldn't tell you it's  
because she likes you. And she knows it's beginning to show, and she  
needs to cover herself with misdirection."

"Believe me when I tell you that's not true," I told her. Them.  
Whatever.

What about the monogrammed bath towels?

The damned bath towels.

All of a sudden I see the past and the present and the future in another  
weird moment of perfect clarity. I think of Donna's Evil Plan and the  
bath towels. I think about the look in her eyes when she asked me what  
we do now and the look in her eyes when she told me we had to draw a  
line.

God I'm an idiot.

I knew what we were talking about the whole time. It's always been  
about us. Everything is about us.

There was a reason I didn't ask Joey Lucas out, and it wasn't because of  
Donna's Supposed Evil Plan. It was because no one can fit between me  
and Donna. And no one can fit between me and Donna because I won't let  
them. It's like I told Sam at breakfast.

"I don't like it, and usually do everything within my considerable  
capabilities to sabotage it," I had told him.

My God, I'm an idiot. It came out of my own mouth, and I didn't  
recognize it for what it was.

I don't know what to do now.

I need air. I need sleep. I need time.

  


End file.
